Suicidal Recital- Unfinished

As I sit watching the clock
Tic toc tic toc
Got a glock to my head
Sure wonder I ain't dead
I've said all that needs to be said
'Bout to let the water run red

Soon to meet my maker
I'm no faker when I spit this I'm real
only wish you could feel what I feel
This sense of despair
And I no longer care
This is a rare moment of solace
my warm hearts turned callous

This is my suicidal recital
and its vital you pay attention
this is a rendition of my
psychological condition
Of the pain in my brain
Left with nothing, nothing left to gain
allow me to refrain and rephrase
this lyrical maze
every I've been left in a daze
Wondering if this shits just a phase
bound to fade into obscurity
sitting on the jury of my own murder trial